He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
