found the other keg... it's in the tree
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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