We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize