He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
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