I bet he comes in French.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
It's rum buckets o'clock
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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