Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
