you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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