before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
they're like a gay fantastic four
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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