How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Randomize
