she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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