I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize