Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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