we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
