Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize