OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I've blown a few things in my day
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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