Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic