READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize