I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize