when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
