Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
