New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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