idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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