That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
