Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
