Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
my penis made a compromise with my morals
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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