i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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