What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
