I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
