Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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