then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
