but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
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