Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
You took a bar mat shot.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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