the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
