I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
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