bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
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