My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Randomize
