At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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