so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
