I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
