She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize