God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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