He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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