I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
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and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
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At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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