he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
