I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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