you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
