Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
