morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
