Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
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