The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
