So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Randomize
