i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
