I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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