Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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