the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
