Your mouth is God's brothel.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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