If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Can you bring me the toilet please
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
