new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
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