i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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