bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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